Techno Claus (who looks suspiciously like “Sunday Morning” contributor David Pogue) has made the trip from the North Pole to deliver gift suggestions for those on your holiday list who love gadgets:
Another year older … another year gone …
And dang, the pandemic is still going on!
But here’s a distraction that might just succeed:
A visit from Techno Claus. Just what you need!
I come bearing many a gifting idear
For those on your list who love technical gear!
Ruggie Alarm Clock Mat ($99)
I hate waking up! I just keep hitting Snooze,
A habit I share with a number of youse.
The Ruggie alarm clock lies there on the floor –
Shuts off when you stand for three seconds or more.
At that point, you’re up. What a marvellous mat!
Now there’s an invention that doesn’t fall flat!
It’s hard to believe people still hand out these.
Now you’re supposed to copy your numbers in? Puh-lease!
Now this card! You hold it by somebody’s phone –
And boom! Info transferred, and boom! Minds are blown!
No setup required, no app to install
It’s time to retire paper business cards, y’all!
EyeVac and EyeVac Air Electric Dustpans ($114/$189)
‘Twas the night after Christmas – the guests and the stress,
And time to clean up all the post-Christmas mess.
You pick up your broom and begin the attack,
But dustpans are stupid. Instead, feed the vac!
Turns on by itself, and it empties out thus.
And this model filters the air – that’s a plus!
inCharge X Max ($39)
Whenever I pack for the big Christmas Eve,
There’s so many chargers, you wouldn’t believe!
The laptop, the smartphone, the headphones, and – ugh!
Would it kill ’em to settle on one common plug?!?
And that is the reason why this cable tends
To thrill the giftees: it’s got five different ends!
Like Lightning for iPhones, and here, USB,
And Micro for cameras, and USB-C!
Personal Rise Garden ($279)
Gardens are great if you’ve got expertise,
And you don’t mind the bugs, and the dirt, and your knees.
But these are for indoors, for crops all year long!
An app guides your growing, and you can’t go wrong.
It’s called hydroponics; no dirt is involved.
And if you ask me, that’s called, “Gardening – solved.”
Friendship Lamps ($198)
I miss Mrs. Claus when I’m far from the Pole.
Long-distance relationships do take a toll.
But these little lamps come in paired sets of two
You touch one to say, “Dear, I’m thinking of you.”
So her lamp lights up in my colour, like this
And the same in reverse – like a long-distance kiss.
The sleigh is all loaded; its runners are waxed;
The reindeer are ready, and I’m triple-vaxed!
Good luck with your shopping; get out there and browse
Whatever the broken supply chain allows!