If you think today’s kids would rather spend hours glued to a screen than play outside, you might want to take another look. Turns out kids crave free play.
A recent survey of US children ages 8–12 revealed that 45% prefer unstructured, unsupervised free play as their favorite way to connect with friends. Just 25% said they’d rather socialize online.
That might come as a surprise if your mental image of childhood involves “Minecraft,” “Roblox,” or TikTok dances. But researchers behind the poll — Lenore Skenazy, Zach Rausch, and Jonathan Haidt — believe kids aren’t addicted to tech because they love it more than real life. They turn to screens because real-world play has become too supervised, too structured, and too rare.
Barrie's News Delivered To Your Inbox
By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: Central Ontario Broadcasting, 431 Huronia Rd, Barrie, Ontario, CA, https://www.cobroadcasting.com. You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact
Why Kids Retreat to Screens
The survey also found some startling stats about how little independence children have today:
- About 75% of 9 to 12 year olds regularly play Roblox, drawn to its freedom.
- A majority of kids have smartphones.
- About 50% of 10 to 12 year olds said that all (or most of) their friends are on social media.
- Most kids say they’re not allowed out in public without an adult.
- More than 25% of 8 to 9 year olds aren’t allowed to play in their own front yard without an adult.
- Less than 50% of 8 to 9 year olds have ever walked down a grocery aisle alone.
These same kids were asked how they like to spend time with friends and were given 3 options:
- 45% said they wanted “unstructured play, such as shooting hoops and exploring their neighborhood”
- 30% said “participating in activities organized by adults, such as playing Little League and doing ballet”
- 25% said “socializing online”
In other words, kids aren’t choosing tech because it’s better — they’re choosing it because it’s free from constant adult oversight. Online, they can explore, make up rules, and connect with friends without being monitored every second.
The Rise of the “Phone-Based Childhood”
Since the 1980s, a shift toward “safetyism” — fueled by parental fears — has dramatically reshaped childhood.
In another Harris Poll, 60% of parents feared injury would befall two unsupervised 10-year-olds playing in a park and 50% feared abduction — despite actual risk being extraordinarily low.
Experts estimate a child would need to be unsupervised for 750,000 years before being kidnapped by a stranger.
Certainly, parents need to assess risks related to their own neighbourhoods, but with so many overestimating the dangers, children are losing the chance to develop independence and experience opportunities to develop resilience, confidence, and problem-solving skills.
American childhoods today are defined by structured schedules, constant supervision, and limited autonomy, mirroring a broader cultural transformation since mid-century. Meanwhile, rates of childhood anxiety and depression have spiked as independent play declined.
And parents are suffering too with health advisories drawing attention to the link between intensive caregiving and stress.
Children Know What They Want — and It’s Real Play
Here’s the kicker: most kids would still rather roam their neighborhoods, invent games, and hang out in person. They crave the independence that older generations took for granted — the freedom to ride bikes, build forts, and get dirty without checking in every five minutes.
Nearly 75% agreed with the statement:
“I would spend less time online if there were more friends in my neighborhood to play with in person.”
As safety concerns and over-scheduling shrink kids’ real-world playtime, digital spaces fill the gap.
But this new research suggests that given the choice, kids prefer the old-fashioned version of play — the kind with scraped knees and giggles echoing down the street.
Open the Door to Real Childhood
Most kids aren’t addicted to technology—they’re just craving the kind of unsupervised fun that today’s social norms and infrastructure restrict.
Real independence—backyard games, grocery runs, hanging with street friends—is profoundly important for mental health and growth.
Creating safe spaces, changing community practices, and embracing a more trusting view of childhood can rekindle genuine connection—and make smartphones less of a default.
